Current:Home > NewsSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -TradeBridge
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-18 11:09:22
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (41)
Related
- Spooky or not? Some Choa Chu Kang residents say community garden resembles cemetery
- Olympic medal count: Tallying up gold, silver, bronze for each country in Paris
- Same storm, different names: How Invest 97L could graduate to Tropical Storm Debby
- As recruiting rebounds, the Army will expand basic training to rebuild the force for modern warfare
- Selena Gomez's "Weird Uncles" Steve Martin and Martin Short React to Her Engagement
- Late grandfather was with Ryan Crouser 'every step of the way' to historic third gold
- Noah Lyles gets second in a surprising 100m opening heat at Olympics
- Street artists use their art to express their feelings about Paris Olympics
- Friday the 13th luck? 13 past Mega Millions jackpot wins in December. See top 10 lottery prizes
- 2024 Olympics: Simone Biles Edges Out Rebeca Andrade for Gold in Women's Vault
Ranking
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- How Team USA's Daniela Moroz can put a bow on her parents' American dream
- Favre challenges a judge’s order that blocked his lead attorney in Mississippi welfare lawsuit
- Stock market today: Dow drops 600 on weak jobs data as a global sell-off whips back to Wall Street
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Triathlon
- 2024 Olympics: Gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik win Bronze in Pommel Horse Final
- Medical report offers details on death of D'Vontaye Mitchell outside Milwaukee Hyatt
- San Francisco Giants' Blake Snell pitches no-hitter vs. Cincinnati Reds
Recommendation
Sam Taylor
Pro Football Hall of Fame ceremony: Class of 2024, How to watch and stream, date, time
Olympic Muffin Man's fame not from swimming, but TikTok reaction 'unreal'
Taylor Swift combines two of her songs about colors in Warsaw
DoorDash steps up driver ID checks after traffic safety complaints
Same storm, different names: How Invest 97L could graduate to Tropical Storm Debby
Bird ignites fire in Colorado after it hits power lines, gets electrocuted: 'It happens'
Is Sha'Carri Richardson running today? Olympics track and field schedule, times for Aug. 3